The New Top Ten Must-Know-Questions For The Single Baby Mama

1. When you do go back and pick up the baby?

Dunno. It’s back to the waiting game, sitting by the phone, waiting for it to ring. The international social worker at Children’s Home Society and Family Services in Minneapolis estimated that it’d be within the next six weeks. (In fact there are three social workers in this baby-project, one locally in New York City, one in Minnesota, and another in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia)

2. How long will you stay in the capital, Addis Ababa?
It’s a four-day stay, with a final meeting at the Embassy, where the baby will receive an Ethiopian passport.

3. Will this give her duo citizenship?

No. From what I heard from friends who adopted a nine-month-old from Ethiopia during my first visit it’s not possible, although it would be very cool if it were.

4. How much time did you get to spend with the baby…how was it?

Only an hour, but it was a wonderful hour. She’s just great! Yes, it’s a girl… and everything the Ethiopian social worker wrote in her report— a very happy baby. And quite cute.

5. Okay, how about posting a photo online?

Nope, no can do. The adoption agency made it VERY clear, while in process; you cannot post an image of your soon-to-be adopted child (ren.) There are strict rules, with harsh penalties. And I don’t want to fumble the ball when I’m at first and goal.

6. Well, can you at least tell us…what’s her name?

Her name is Julia, after my great-grandmother. (I wasn’t 100% sure until I laid eyes on her, but I now know, that’s her name.)

7. Are you prepared for the 18-hour flight with a baby?
I’m bringing my brother, Jeffrey the father of four, a mild-mannered, and all-around nice guy with me, as back up.

8. The father of four? What’s your sister-in-law going to do while your brother (her husband) is gone?

My sister-in-law came out of high school, an All-American point guard in Basketball. She can handle pressure. And my mom is on deck to help.

9. Does your company adhering to the Family Leave Act, are you taking maternity leave?

I’m indeed lucky to work for a great company, for great bosses. Phil and Rich said up front that I should “have everything a woman who has given birth does.”

Nice.

Except there’s one problem: I haven’t met the legal one-year of employment requirement, yet. HR and my supervisors have said we will work something out. And I’m certain we will.

10. And after that, what are you going to do for child care? Who will look after Julia while you work?

Maybe I’ll hire a nanny. Maybe I’ll go with day care. I haven’t decided. If I win the lottery before the time I have to go back to work, I still wouldn’t know, I’d just take a longer leave.